Mom came home from the hospital yesterday. Her WBC count was 1.0 on Thursday, 3.3 on Friday, 5.7 on Saturday, 10 on Sunday, and 5.0 on Monday. This is good news as she is now able to fight infection on her own. And, those numbers got her permission to leave the hospital. This is the good news.
The bad news is that mom has been severely nauseated for the past two weeks. This may be due to the fact that she has been taking extraordinarily high doses of Neupogen, a cancer drug designed to increase WBC production. Or not. Or maybe. Who knows? Does anyone know a doctor?
This nausea has kept her from eating much of anything at all. The truth is that she has had nothing at all to eat in the past 5 days and a pittance to eat the 9 days before that.
So, imagine how lethargic and emotionally drained you are after 20 hours of fasting each month. Now, multiply that by 10 times. Then add to that the stress of knowing that there is/was a monster in your head eating your brain. And add to that the aches that come from being in bed for months on end. Well, all of that adds up to a despair that is larger than most of us can imagine. That is where mom is right now.
So, that is the news. Mom spends all day in bed. She doesn’t do very much talking. She doesn’t do any eating. She is deep in despair.
However, today the hospice nurse gave mom morphine (administered under her tongue since she is DONE with needles and refuses to swallow). She also gave mom some anti nausea medication that is administered as a balm to her arm. This has helped her mood some. She has been more talkative.
As for the rest of us … I suppose that we all fall somewhere on a continuum between resigned to mom’s death to hopeful that she will recover. And, I suppose that each of our locations on this continuum changes from day to day.
Seeing someone who is a loving and generous and righteous and caring and wonderful person suffer is an agonizing thing. It is especially difficult when that person is your mom. She has been our world. She is the president of our fan club, our counselor through grief, our advocate in times of sorrow and self doubt, our partner in joy and success, our mirror to our self perception, and our introduction to God and His ways. No life could be more successful than hers.
Could God want her back so soon? Isn’t there time for just a few more joyous years together? Only time will tell. This Friday is mom’s first MRI since Poosh and Koosh began. I suppose we will know more about the future then.
Your prayers and thoughts are received with gladness.
The Christensens
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2 comments:
What a beautiful soliloguy and tribute to Liz was this last entry! Every mom wishes she could leave such a legacy. How blessed your family has been and continues to be to have Liz as your Mom. She contiues to teach you as she suffers such hard times. Sometimes it is through our hard times and sufferings that we learn to appreciate how much we are blessed. We continue to pray for all of you each day. Please give our love to Liz and Herb.
John and Jeri Walton in Cambodia
Sorry to hear of your continuing struggles over the past few weeks. We are glad to hear she has been released from the hospital and back home in her own enviornment, hopefully this will make a difference. I think about her all the time. Give her love from all of us - Elder Eatchel asks about her all the time and I am keeping him updated. We hope that things will improve each day. Your families strength is impeccalbe- keep the faith. Our prayers are with you all.
The Eatchels
Leslie, Brad, Brianne and of course Elder Eatchel
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